Changed

I am a lot different than I used to be. One of the changes that I have realized, that I have not expected is liking Jay Chow's music. I am still not sure what category his music goes...maybe rap.

I first started to listen to his famous 'Nocturne' and caught myself wanting to listen to it repeatedly. The lyrics are weird enough. For me, it is like trying to explain Picasso, so I wouldnt even try to describe....gosh it is growing on me.

Talking too fast

I learn something new from my DTS student, Jesse yesterday.

Verbal diarrhea.

I have that problem.

Birthday

I turned 17 today. But sometimes I still act younger than that.

God is sweet to me! He gave me more than what I asked for. I have clarity. I have His Word to move on.

Caryl took me, Nicky, and Fifi to Fat Angelo's to get fattened.

Faby left birthday messages all over my cyberspaces. She misses me.

The aswesome DTSers wrote me a card and bought me a pair of hair clips.

Catherine made me a journal filled with cat stickers.

My mom asked me why didnt I eat an egg. I was supposed to because it's my birthday.

Kah Kheng put up a picture of me years ago on his blog. I still looked the same today.

Ams remembered my birthday. I m getting really spoilt.

Happy birthday to me. I had a good day. I am loved.

Rain Down

Looks like tonight, the sky is heavy
Feels like the winds are gonna change
Beneath my feet, the earth is ready
I know its time for heaven's rain, it's gonna rain
It's gonna rain, again

Cos it's living water we desire
To flood out hearts with holy fire

Rain down all around the world we're singing
Rain down can you here the earth is singing
Rain down my heart is dry but still I'm singing
Rain down rain it down on me.

Back to the start, my heart is heavy
Feels like it's time, to dream again
I hear your voice, and yes I'm ready
To dance upon this barren land
Hope in my hands

Do not shut, Do not shut, Do not shut the heavens
But open up, open up, open up our hearts

Give me strength to cross the water
Keep my heart upon your altar
Give me strength to cross this water
Keep my feet don’t let me falter

Written by Martin Smith/Stuart Garrard ©2003 Curious? Music UK

The sound of rain is the most beautiful music to my ears. I like rain. It is so refreshing, so comforting, so cleansing.

It is raining in Hong Kong. My laundry is still on the lines outside. I cant collect it until the next sunshine. Oh well...happy almost birthday to me.

Cherishing Singleness

I was at the Lighthouse briefly this evening collecting some random items that were left behind since my last week's exodus to my now apartment. I heard Rebecca said the funniest thing that I promised to remember forever.

Fifi was wetting a rag and started to wipe the floor of the bathroom and then their bedroom. Katja was there as well. We were astonished so we started to ask why was she doing that. Then out of the blue, Becca said "she ate something tonight that made her wanting to clean". Needless to say, we roared and the laughter didnt end there.

I realized I am so much in the mood of collecting memories, remembering what people said as though my life is ending soon.

My single days are numbered alright. Soon enough, I will be a married woman. For more than most, it is a lifetime excitement to look forward to. While I am sure being married to my wonderful Kah Kheng, life will be very exciting, awesome and filled with purpose, but I will never be the Angeline today, a single woman. The difference similarize life and death, a one way entry, absolutely irreversible.

I have spent majority of my adult life being involved with someone, idolizing marriage and all that. Only two years ago, I started to experience the greatest pleasure and privilege, even to point of a habitual sense, belonging only to my God. Hitherto, we are still guarding this relationship jealously. I have so many golden memories to be thankful for. I feel almost unwilling to let this end so soon. I know I will always have my God but somehow life will not be the same.

I am not so much fearful of the new change that is going to take place because I know my God is with me in this. I am just REALLY REALLY missing my relationship with my God as a single woman.

Quote of the day

...I trust you, Angeline. In fact I trust you with my life....

Defenses melted. Misunderstanding dissolved. Truth revealed.

Wow. That is probably the highest compliment I have ever received in my life! Thanks Caryl.

So Young Kim

So Young is my good friend. She is a peculiar funny person if you know what I mean. You could never predict the next thing that would come out of her mouth, which then makes her really special.

So, of course, being a good friend, she also gets to hear about my recent hookup with Kah Kheng. I find her response most outstanding...it was just one of those that has to be recorded and remembered.

This was how it happened....
This morning, in our intercession group. So Young said to Rachel in her most delightful Korean accent..."She (refers to me) is getting married. That's omayzjing". Rachel laughed silently and nodded in agreement. Then she continued... "I think it is more omayzjing that she wants to get married. I still can't belieb it! So omayzjing"

SO YOUNG IS SO ADORABLE!!!!!!

New Year Already?

That's taken in Summer 2002.

The Old Navy backpack is still with me now in HK.

Zoom in to those clunky shoes. Well I left that pair in NE. Those were the ones I wore when I stomped to Neek's apartment. I am fascinated with that detail he wrote in his recent blog about me.

Guess what. I bought a similar pair of those guys in Thailand last year. And I stomped up my way up to the office with those as well. Caryl seems to love it a lot!!!

It's good to know, there are certain things about me that people noticed and still havent changed.

I am going to be 29 soon. Happy new year. It's gonna be one heck of a year.

Zoe, do you remember....?

You are forever in my life
You see me through the seasons

Spring 97
You, Lay Sar, Jennifer, Wee Kuan, Wee Kien, Cindy, Regyne, and many names forgotten. Selleck Basement. Most of them were Selleck residents but You and Lay Sar would come from Piper to hang out, so would I. I lived at 2221 S Str #22.

Then TGAN started. You, Lay Sar, Cindy came on board. We gossipped so much about Kerk Fong. Then you disappeared to Toronto.

Summer 97
I went back for 3 months of summer hols. Kerk Fong took over #22. Then I came back to Lincoln, but moved to 526 N26th #3. Kerk Fong moved to Cather. You took over #22 from Kerk Fong.

Fall and Winter 97
The most unforgettable winter storm. University closed down for 3 days. Your birthday that year, I got you a big teddy bear from JC Penny. Party at #22 that night. 1st TGAN's Christmas Carol. I remember getting so mad at Jen and Lay Sar but You sang with your whole heart. You kept me from losing it.

Spring 98
Malaysian Night. Forced into dance performance by Numsa. You coached the chinese fan dance. ..did my makeup.

Summer 98
You became my 'beauty consultant'. I would go stay over at #22 all the time. You polished my nails and put colors on them. My boyfriend got freaked out and asked me not to hang out with you so much because I was 'losing' myself.

Fall/Winter 98
Went to IVCF Fall conference together with Brian and Kah Kheng. You withdrew from TGAN, so did Kerk Fong, so did I... all for different reasons. Christopher became a christian. Winter break 98/99. Kah Kheng, you and I became close friends, ate meals together(in or out), played together, did everything together. One night, in KK's room, I quietly told you, I was strangely drawn to KK. Both of us freaked out together. 2nd TGAN Christmas Carolling. I was a part-timer.

Spring 99
Spring break 99, trip to Brownsville Church, Pensacola Florida. Tayo in his shock found out KK wasnt after you, but me. May 8, 1999. On a trip to Omaha, visited ConAgra Global Office campus, on that ground you shared with me your vision of The Blessing Channel.

Summer 99
We moved in together to 501 N25th #4. Requested to dance for Missions Conference at Christ's Place. The last time you coached me in dance. I sworn off dance 'forever' until FEET.

Fall/Winter 99
Going through lots of drama with KK,and with CC, you just watched silently. But I knew you were always there for me.

Spring 00
More drama continued. I started working and you were trying to graduate. We grew silent on each other almost but I knew you always cared. Malaysian Night 2000. I bought you a prom dress. Both of us unintentionally started the tradition of wearing big gowns to Malaysian night. Who didnt want to be hot like us? Nata came to visit us and we thought how much he looked like Kerk Fong.

Summer 00
You graduated and moved to California.

Spring 02
Visited you with Anna Bouc. Fell in love with Sausalito.

Fall 02
You returned to Lincoln for Thanksgiving. We plotted to give Judy a big surprise.

Spring 03
Visited you again and asked you to be my Maid of Honor. Then broke up with KK. Made plans to go to Hong Kong. You promised to be the Blessing Channel. Unofficially, the partnership was activated. You send, I go.

Summer 03
Visited you with the Boucs. Last time I saw you in the States.

Spring 04
I departed for Hong Kong. You departed for Lausanne Switzerland.

Winter 04
I settled in Hong Kong with YWAM. You got a green card and returned to the Bay Area.

Fall 05
You visited your 'cat' Hong Kong. I met your parents and relatives in Jakarta. You strategically 'patched' KK and I back and hence resumed your position as the Maid of Honor. I tasted roasted goose the first time and found out it is Yuen Long's Specialty.

Jing Jing, what is life without you?

wows..i believe this is the longest entry I have ever posted. i m happy its all about you.

Acknowledgement

Kah Kheng is a mega awesome man.

I am a blessed woman.

:-)

The Day Angeline Freaks Out.

So I scanned and put all the people who are coming for DTS in Jan 06 this morning.
In two weeks, they will be here.

For the first time, I feel like I am freaking out for real.

Pray for me....

Thank you.

My presents

Calvin and Hobbes full collection from amazon.com. weigh 2000 kgs.
A Starbuck tumbler, and a scarf.
Some Australian Honey roasted macadamia nuts
An Indian purse and bangles

Neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek, where is my present, the post???????
Carrie, WHERE ARE THOSE TAMPONS?? My period is waiting for them.

The Journey of the Magi (1926) - T.S. Elliot

A cold coming we had of it,
Just the worst time of the year
For a journey, and such a long journey:
The ways deep and the weather sharp,
The very dead of winter.
And the camels galled, sore-footed, refractory,
Lying down in the melting snow.
There were times we regretted
The summer palaces on slopes, the terraces,
And the silken girls bringing sherbet.
Then the camel men cursing and grumbling
And running away, and wanting their liquor and women,
And the night-fires going out, and the lack of shelters,
And the cities hostile and the towns unfriendly
And the villages dirty and charging high prices:
A hard time we had of it.
At the end we preferred to travel all night,
Sleeping in snatches,
With the voices singing in our ears, saying
hat this was folly.


Then at dawn we came down to a temperate valley,
Wet, below the snow line, smelling of vegetation,
With a running stream and a water-mill beating the darkness,
And three trees on the low sky.
And an old white horse galloped away in the meadow.
Then we came to a tavern with vine-leaves over the lintel,
Six hands at an open door dicing for pieces of silver,
And feet kicking the empty wine-skins.
But there was no information, so we continued
And arrived at evening, not a moment too soon
Finding the place; it was (you may say) satisfactory.
All this was a long time ago, I remember,
And I would do it again, but set down
This set down
This: were we led all the way for
Birth or Death ? There was a Birth, certainly,
We had evidence and no doubt. I had seen birth and death,
But had thought they were different; this Birth was
Hard and bitter agony for us, like Death, our death.
We returned to our places, these Kingdoms,
But no longer at ease here, in the old dispensation,
With an alien people clutching their gods.
I should be glad of another death.

Responses

My dad's - *smilessssssssssssss* "I am satisfied with KK."

Caryl's - "Wow. Remember not to compromise what God has called you to do."

Nancy's - "Praise God. I am excited for you!"

Zoe's - "Finally..."

Faby's - "I knew it. I knew it"

Godwin's - "Are you inviting me to the wedding?"

Tryfina's - *shrieks* "Oh my gosh!"

Nicky's -"I am so excited. Even during our dts, I knew you still like him from the way you talked about him. I asked God, why dont you just put them back together?"

Liz's - "I've gotta call Kristy up."

Catherine's - "I was so happy that I cried"

William's - "Holy canoly...everyone's been drinking love potion."

Neek's - "Hahahahaha. I gotta hear the stories from both sides."

Craig's - "Is he leading youth and leading worship in a Mosque?"

Brandon's - "You've got to show me the pictures of him."

Anna Banana's - "I am shocked..."

Tina's - (still silent)

KK and NG

So the kitty cat dragged in....

I remember sometime in July I wrote prophetically that the later half of 2005 would be interesting for me. Whatever happened during that time would determine what I will be doing the next year.

Well, with prayers and anticipation, I waited for the 'whatever'. However, I never would expect one of those things could actually lead to an expiration of my very celebrated bachelorhood. Better than that, he is none other than the only person with whom I ever had the desire to spend my life with. Not always, but only.

I was barely 22 when I started to like him. He was barely 21 when he fell in love with me. With that age, we learnt a lot of things the hard way. It took us a while to finally get to this place. Only God can come through for us like this.

Kah Kheng... you are worth the wait.

Boon Kheng.... you and your '8' mood!!!!!!

December no kidding

God cleverly tilted the planet earth 23 degrees and 27 minutes to rotate around the sun such that it causes some part of the planet to move away from the it. In december, the part happens to be northern hemisphere. Hong Kong 23 degrees 26 arcminutes and 22 arcseconds lies on the tropic of cancer, northern hemisphere.

The weather is broken. My feet are cold and my brain is frozen.

I resolve to learn how to use tampons next year. My good friend, Carrie (bless her heart) is sending them over for Christmas. I hope she sends them with step by step instructions.

It is going to be a Christmas to remember no less.

Death of my iPod Random

I took it to Malaysia and Indonesia. Never used it the whole time.

Today I reinstalled its driver and iTunes. Everything was fine. Loaded songs onto it. Everything was fine. When I tried playing, no sound came out. Checked the earphones, nothing wrong with them.

Flabbergasted.

December already

Furlough is over. Thank God.

I am happily back doing accounts. I recently developed the love for money. Just Joking.

Suddenly the world shrunk. The first day, I couldnt see floor space in my bedroom. I had to remember to not flush the toilet paper. (When I first got back home in Malaysia, I was looking for the trash can and later realized I could flush them down).
Nevertheless I am glad to be able to cuddle with Pooh again...although the first night he ended up sleeping on the floor.

We even have new staff in the Lighthouse that would now make the house on full occupancy.

So everyone's back. Cant believe it is December already. It has been exactly a year since I got on staff. We are getting the SOFMers' Love Feast and Report Back over with so that we can prepare for Christmas Outreach. Work, Work, and Work. Angeline loves it.

My 100th Post !!!!

My beginning and my end are in your hands.
There's nothing in between that I can hide from your eyes.
I will never be forgotten.

My name is permanently written in your book, where it records the memories of a Sacred Romance. This romance has no end.

This is the reality that surpasses all the tangible materials on earth.
It is The Reality I live for.

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son, and whosoever believes in him, shall not perish but have everlasting life.

Therefore, it is not okay for a single soul to perish thinking he's never been loved and has no value.

It is not okay that he died without knowing the King of universe had laid down his life just for him.