Adios Tina

itz the last day i will see my Tina. here is the list that nobody else can get away with if you do this to Tina. sit on her laps, step on her feet, touch her with my feet, take a nap under her blankie. she said she doesnt know why she let me did all those. if she believes in reincarnation, i must be a cat in my past life.

like ive said, there's no functional substitute for Tina.

responding to all the people that asked about the taste of recycled tea. after much thought, i would say, it doesnt taste as good as the normal tea. EWWWW

so this IS the last entry before i leave. my important prayer request: pray that we all dont gain weight!!!

all blessings and love.

Almost Outreach

at least 5 people had asked me this today. are you ready for outreach? i had a standard answer. ask me again next week then i will be able to tell you. strange. i realize i have this tendency of living in the past. afterall i posted a mile long blog about dts 2004 in the middle of dts 2005.

maybe it is the effect of using godzilla firefox. i realize sometimes i need to 'reload' the pages that i frequent because it seems to have really long 'history' memory. i bet nobody understood what i just mentioned. nevermind. this is my 'note to self' thing.

so i have been cleaning up some of the stuff in my room. i found lots and lots of chocolate that was given to me during christmas. i didnt remember i had them. no wonder i feel like i have lost some weight.

got a care package from william keomany. a bag of pretzels to remind me of MASH, jollies, a chapstick, and 2 cds. check this out. one of it is of hillsong and delirious recorded during the hillsong conference 2003. i m so in delirium. it has my favorite song 'here i am (majesty)'. am i spoilt or am i spoilt? thanks will. you are my hero of the year.

i have to tell you what happened yesterday. i almost took out my last post. in fact i was even close to shut down my blog site completely because of the last comment i received on it. when i first read it, i felt this sudden darkness loomed my soul. and i am not remotely close to exaggerating.

then i found out who that was, i was immediately paralyzed with horror and fear and shame and regrets. so, i sent out an email asking for forgiveness. this morning i got a reply saying that it was a joke that flopped.

phew! what a relief.

i can SMILE and BLOG again. i am surprised how quickly i get out of trauma these days.

tomorrow, i m fulfilling the promise i made to chris and tryfina while we were in india. i m bringing them into czzzz.

DTS 2004 Canonized

My favorite memories of DTS 04.

I wrote this sometime during OR last year, not in any particular order of timeline or favoritism.

Pre-OR

• The night I gave my testimonies on how God led me to YWAM HK where almost all my newly met dtschoolmates gathered around me in Judah House. Rose (then Starla) got so excited that she stopped me halfway and had me retell because she wanted to tape it on her recorder.
  
• The whole knitting fever.
• Being called 'angelito' by Faby. It changed to 'Gatito' right before OR.
  
• First meeting with Brandon (he's really polite), William (he talks too much and too loud), and Carrie (she is so beautiful but doesnt really want to talk).
• I almost couldnt believe Carrie (calls herself Chuck) shaved her head.
  
• When Caryl told Tim that I was her favorite student, not Nick. But of course she didnt mean it. Was fun seeing her trying to cover up the obvious.
  
• The first King & I experience. washing dishes for hours in the cold rain.
• The night So Young, Faby, Godwin, Kevin and I ate hot pot together in Yuen Long. I busted my lungs laughing at Godwin's funny stories, told by Faby.
• Preparing breakfast with William and how he always woke up late. The day he made scrambled eggs with me and I ended up burning them in the oven while trying to keep them warm. I laughed so hard that I almost passed out.
  
• Hanging out in Judah's kitchen listening to political discussion between Rahel, Carrie, and Nicky (about Bush).
• Our first holy communion together following the announcemnt that Sara and Tiffany had to leave the school.
  
• Playing pick scrabble with Kevin, Liz and Kristy. This is what Liz had FAG, FAT, and ZIT. and Kevin said 'wow Liz, you have a positive thing going on there'.
• Playing UNO with the same troop with me consistently being the loser.
• All the silly conversations Nicky and I had in our room.
  
• Presenting a skit about different occupations (addict's anonymous was the theme) in the mandarin class.
• When Caryl prayed over me and got the word to let go of the past because the future is greater and better than what could ever imagined during a worship session. Faby was leading worship with her favorite song 'where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom'.
• The time when Faby and I made fake passports for Kevin and how we almost died laughing.
  
• The time when Faby,Kevin, and I jammed in Jericho and our conversation on sweet and sour moskitos.
  
• When William came over to play monopoly with Catherine, she had to pray for the protection over their relationship before they started the game.
• Everytime Faby and I laughed. Each time I did that, I lost a pound of weight.
• Liz's gaze of doom.
• Watching Nancy dance.
• Whenever Will prayed in public.
  

Favorite OR memories

• The little sidetrip with Rose(then still Starla) and Brandon to get extra pages on their passports and that Rose found her Skippy peanut butter, I found my obsessed Uniball Vision Elite blueblack pen and Brandon had coffee at Starbucks. I found out that Brandon's dad and Jim worked together at Goodyear Lincoln over icecream at Haagendaz.
  
• Shopping with Rose in the alleys. Shopping with Rose anywhere.
  
• Will with his passion on $1 icecream bars and wahaha water at the corner shop by the university's entrance.
• Being called Miss Malaysia 2004.
  
• I was taking a nap one afternoon where the team were up in the mountains, then woke up hearing Carrie singing Psalm 121 to God on behalf of the villagers. This memory touched my heart forever. It became a permanent inspiration. Thanks Chuck.
  
• The 2 weeks when the team had team pets, Howard and Xiao Ya. How Carrie parented the ducklings...i.e. sang Christmas carols to put them to sleep, let them swam in the bathtub, cleaned their crap etc. The whole conversation featuring Will's (then XiaoKai) and Rose's attempts to convince Carrie to get rid of the ducklings and how to do it. I, who was the only other person in the hotel room listened attentively at the same time minding my own business.
• The time Anna Jane, Brandon, Will and I broke curfew. We chatted in the living room of our apartment until past 2am, about everything including politics.
• The monopoly marathon at the same apartment and Catherine's losing streak (because I never played).
• Political talks between Will and Rose at the same apartment.
• Will's 'note to self' habit.
  
• The time when Catherine (then Cat), Brandon, Carrie, and James started to read out from a mormon book which Cat had borrowed from James's mom..something about women.
• The time we had to pack and leave a city on one hour's notice, had to celebrate Will's blessing day on the train.
  
• The time when all the girls got to stay in one big room with 6 bunked beds. When Cat had to take a poll on everyone to choose either Vanilla or Chocolate but those are not options for icecream flavors. The fact we couldn't decide what temperature to set for our AC because half of us love coldness and the other half cannot stand it.
  
• Our last team time together where we played with the chairs and buzzers.
  
• Will ran out of money at the end of OR and asked me if I could buy him water. So cute!!

Post-OR

• The big reunion at Sheung Shui's McDonald's.
  
• The Graduation and Love Feast. The staff forgot to print Kristy's certificate.
  
• Conversation with Will on 601 about the possibility of me joining staff.
• The MTR ride when Adeline read Rahel's quotes she recorded during OR.
  
• Plotted with Rose to give Caryl a mysterious National Caryl's Day. Support Your Local Caryl, Give Her a Hug!
  
• Spent 7 hours in Yuen Long with Nancy.
• Right before Nancy left, she gave me one of her pants that she just wore. She said 'there's some period stains on them, and they are still fresh'!!!
  

Addition to the family

just got back from kam tin. dts went out to have lassi (very yummy indian yoghurt drink) to celebrate lisa's 9th week pregnancy. lisa and mathias went to the doctor this morning and had their suspicion confirmed.

so, there's a change of plan. they will be doing their outreach phase in hk instead. the doctors advised them to go back to germany because the pregnancy is considered 'high risk'. lisa had chemotherapy 9 months ago and isnt supposed to get pregnant after 2 years. but they decided to finish off the dts and graduate with the rest of the school.

it was an emotional day.

this is the first school where we will end with an extra person. :-)

that was my second trip to kam tin today. this afternoon, i had to go to the post office to mail something to godwin. i stopped by a restaurant to get lunch because the base is having 'rice salad' which i was totally not excited about.

i had the most embarrassing realization. you see, whenever i went to a typical hong kong restaurant and ordered something. they would bring this tea in a small cup. of course i thought it was a complementary drink and i always drank it. the lady that served me asked me if i wanted anything else to drink because they serve tea and soda and so on. i was like, why should i order another tea when they already brought me one so i declined. then i saw her bringing another customer the tea with chopsticks and spoon sticked in the cup. i was so horrified. the first thing that entered my mind was i have been drinking recycled tea. EWWWWWWW. the second thing were all the conclusions the people could come up with seeing me drinking rinse tea. EWWWWWWW.

it is a custom to rinse diningware with tea before eating in hk chinese restaurants. i learn something about eating culture today.

On Suffering

only through those time, i came to know who God is. i experienced His closeness, His peace, and His joy that cannot be taken away. it was a time of cleansing, purifying....where all the complexity of life reduced itself to one simple hope. He got my earnest attention but i was on the greater receiving end.

i miss my days of sufferings. those are precious moments where i truly lived. now i am craving for them.

i simply cant stand mediocrity and complacency.

celebrate suffering. dont avoid it. you dont know what you are missing out.

what can my enemy possibly do to me when i am completely fearless of suffering?

Prank Calls

it was 7:23am. i just stepped out of shower and rachel knocked on the bathroom. apparently i had a phone call. so i heard a very strange accent asking me if i know who he was. he said something like "oh come on...do you really want us to talk like normal?" and so that gave him away. william keomany called me. he wanted some phone numbers of some other people on the base so that he can make prank calls in the morning. wretched!

but... faby overpranked him. tina said, she called so-young at 530am just to laugh at her, then hung up!

one week to OR

william keomany,

i have wanted to tell you for a while. i think jason upton is exceptional. i was packing for outreach the whole afternoon and i had the jason upton cd you burnt playing while i was doing that.

thank you so much for that cd. i m addicted.

recently the base has been overtaken by EWC fans (to my dismay). lots of EWC stuff being introduced during W time. i m working on liking them...but not very promising. you came in the wrong year!

anyway, if you decide not to go to ensenada but meet up with liz and chuck, tell chuck i enjoyed her stories. but if you decide to go to ensenada, tell rose about my blog and give her my love.

when you see cat this weekend, give her a smile from me. up to you however you want to make it.

you are awesome.

L O V E

interesting quotes on LOVE i collected some years ago.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Love is like playing the piano. First you must learn to play by the rules, then you must forget the rules and play from your heart."--Unknown

"Tell me whom you love and I will tell you who you are."--Houssaye

"A bird may love a fish, but where would they live?"

"A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears." --Woodrow Wyatt

"It is better to be hated for what you are then to be loved for what your not"--Andre Gide

"They that love beyond the world cannot be seperated by it. Death cannot kill what never dies."

Love that remains longest in your heart is the one that is not returned

"You know your in love when you can see your unborn children in her eyes."--Bryan Adams, from Have You Ever Loved A Woman?

"A man sees him-self through the eyes of the women he loves."-- James R. Copeland

Since love grows within you, so beauty grows. For love is the beauty of the soul.
---St. Augustine

Everthing has beauty, but not everyone sees it. ---Confucius

Love isn't what makes the world go 'round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile. ---Franklin P. Jones

Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind; and therefore is winged Cupid painted blind. ---William Shakespeare

Love enables you to put your deepest feelings and fears in the palm of you partner's hand, knowing they will be handled with care. ---Carl S. Avery

Love alone is capable of uniting living beings in such a way as to complete and fulfill them, for it alone takes them and joins them by what is deepest in themselves. ---Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

The only love worthy of a name is unconditional. ---John Powell

You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly.---Sam Keen

The heart has its own memory, like the mind, and in it are enshrined the precious keepsakes of life.

"Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love."
Albert Einstein Quotes

"How on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love?"---Albert Einstein Quotes

"Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour.
Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity."---Albert Einstein Quotes

"The heart has reasons that reason does not understand."---Jacques Benigne Bossuel

"Some pray to marry the man they love, my prayer will somewhat vary: I humbly pray to heaven above that I love the man I marry."---Anouk Aimée

"The richest love is that which submits to the arbitration of time."---Lawrence Durrell

"There is no disguise which can hide love for long where it exists, or simulate it where it does not." ---La Rochefoucauld

"There is no remedy for love but to love more."---Thoreau

"To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage." -- Lao Tzu

I dropped a tear in the ocean, when they find it, that's when I'll stop loving you.

Sometimes I wish I were a kid again, skinned knees are easier to fix than broken hearts.

Love speaks even when lips are closed.

The heart speaks a language of which the mind knows nothing.

Why is it that no matter how much pain it endures by holding on...the heart refuses to let go?

Heavy is the sorrow that bows the head when love is alive and hope is dead.

不尽的麦浪

当你举目遥望时尽入眼帘的是什么？
你可曾瞧见残余夕阳下不尽的麦浪待人去收割？
若你仍是铁铸般的呆立着，辽阔的大地将是一片贫瘠，
庄稼就会一颗颗的凋残，一株株的枯萎。
福音的种子要撒下，真理的火炬要举起，
我要如鹰展翅上腾，任你东南西北风，翻飞却不困倦。
愿荆棘蒺藜与我交战，我就勇往直前，把它一同焚烧。

要收的庄稼扁满地
谁能完成父心愿?

我说我在这里请差遣我.

this is a song i learnt at least 15 years ago once, in my own heart language and obviously way before i was proficient in english. there are a few characters i dont even know if i remember them correctly anymore.

the song is probably no longer remembered or sung.

it is about the Father's anxious heart for His harvest. it spoke to me like never before, and never again.

it still speaks volumes today.

my heart was spoken for -a long time ago.

The Return of Amsterdam

she is hot! i dont get to see her much until today. she came over to the Lighthouse to play with the girls, and i made her lunch then found out she recently became a vegan.

she always blesses me. she got me aquafresh extreme clean toothpaste, a pink visor, cat stickers, a green bermuda bag from old navy, and three pairs of spiky rubbery funky color earrings that i would never buy for myself because i never think i could be cool enough for those.

itz nice when someone else think more highly of me than i would think of myself.

she makes me happy. always.

we went over to anna jane's new apartment for housewarming. i love staff parties like this when we are not having it on the base.

by the way, her real name is annemarie mee. she doesnt have a middle name. they call her ams here for short. eventually and naturally i started to call her amsterdam.

she is my hearo (my great listener). i came close to worship her (just kidding)!

Ode to Neek

not sure if he really deserves this.

today i m not sure about a lot of things. if i were a bunny, both my ears would be drooping covering both my buck teeth. and then i m not sure if a bunny could actually droop its ears.

so neek, i have to tell you i love my new template too much. st patrick's day's my favorite holiday. *pause* just joking lamely, ok.

sorry, cant give it up for you. maybe i will do it on your birthday, which i forgot. *acck** hacck* when *acck** cough* is* haack** aaack* your *cough** cough** kaacck* kaack* birth *haack** accck* day? i m sure you are the only viewer that can decipher that. well, i m not that sure actually.

just saw this on my gmail sign in page. i cracked up.

On the eve of gmail's one-year birthday, our engineers were toiling away furiously. notes scribbled all over the walls. complex calculation on napkins and empty pizza boxes. millions of m&ms.

the result...starting today, we are beginning the roll-out of our new and top secret infinity+1 storage plan. the key features are
1. write, dont worry. we want to stop caring about storage. we want to keep giving you more. today and beyond.
2. the gift that keeps on giving. and a *counter that doesnt stop counting* megabytes of storage for every user.

3. no complicated equations. no tough algorithms. and this graph which unfortunately cannot be uploaded (because i havent figured out why the upload image/file button doesnt work on me..grrrr)

just thought it was a great april's fool joke.

we get 2G from gmail now. cheers.