Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Part 9: The Doubt and the Final Assurance

The decision to marry changed a few important things immediately.

Even after several discussion on the different possibilities of what our future direction was going to be like, KK finally told me one day he would be sticking to his job and wait for further instructions. That was the direction he got from God after much prayers. And that was the very last thing that I wanted. There were doubt, fear, frustration, and doubt again. What about my dreams and plans? What about my calling? Should I just call it off?

God help me.

When I have quieted down, the still small voice came saying "You want to know my plans for your future, walk into this marriage. This is the door that will lead you there ". The assurance gave me peace. Afterwards I realized I've had too many preconceived ideas on where I should go and how everything was supposed to happen. I wasn't really open to alternatives. God wanted me to lay them down and surrender my agendas to him, again.

A few days later KK came to HK with a ring and officially proposed. I was ready to confidently say yes. God is always timely.