Newest thought

It sounds silly but I am pondering the possibility. What if people DO become fat just by inhaling hot grease? How about for a prolonged period of time?

Performing Arts DTS starts today. A student called Angeline is here. It is the first time Angelines outnumber Annas . Who would have thought?

Somebody announced that Jung Hee is here today. Very surprised!!

The first half day went well.

and Liz, Stephen and Karen took over Godwin and Jared's kitchen duties after our DTS, then we had Tina for COR 2004 till the last DTS.

Newest in Life

I called myself the new Director of the Dining Services now in accordance to the prophecy I made last year during FEET.

But I quickly turned into a Kitchen Monster after 2 days. Why? Better leave it unsaid.

I like my work and I like the fact that I am staying in my little office which I dearly termed my planet, just as Jung Hee used to called his AV room his kingdom, until certain ungodly hour.

Being a manager is quite fun. I always have money to spend. I always have to order online and send people to the stores to get stuff. I have delivery people coming everyday. I even schedule Park N Shop to deliver twice a day (even though not deliberately) because I always need things, or rather always forget to order something. I won't be surprised if that arouses the suspicion that I am having a mega crush on the Park N Shop delivery guy.

Other than that, I am better off wearing rags these days.

I miss you Tina. TINAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! Why are you so freaking quiet and grey?

To Chuck

I was the coleader and she was the chief commander. 12 students went with us. I wish I have their pictures as well.

How on earth did you leave a comment as a blogger with a link to Xanga? How???? It's inconcievable!!!

US Presidents

Not only were these men leaders of our country--they were multitalented, unique, and even downright quirky. We've heard a lot about their contribution to United States history.
But would you have guessed the following…?

1. First U.S. president George Washington rejected a movement among army officers to make him king of the United States.

2. Andrew Jackson, 7th U.S. president, dueled with Charles Dickinson after he insulted Jackson's marriage.
Jackson let his opponent fire first, giving himself time to take aim. Jackson took a bullet in the chest and, without flinching, calmly killed his man.

3. James Buchanan, 15th U.S. president and the first unmarried man to be elected president, reportedly took great pride in his tiny feet, although he was a large robust man.

4. Often depicted wearing a tall black stovepipe hat, 16th president of the United States Abraham Lincoln carried letters, bills, and notes in his hat.

5. The 18th U.S. president, Ulysses S. Grant was born Hiram Ulysses Grant, but he changed his name because he did not like his monogram, HUG.

6. Both ambidextrous and multilingual, 20th president of the United States James Garfield could write Greek with one hand while writing Latin with the other.

7. William Taft, 27th president of the United States, weighed more than 300 pounds and had a special oversized bathtub installed in the White House.

8. The 28th president of the United States, Woodrow Wilson allowed sheep to graze on the White House lawn during World War I; their wool helped raise money for the Red Cross.

9. The 38th president of the United States, Gerald Ford turned down offers to play professional football for the Green Bay Packers and the Detroit Lions.

10. As a young lifeguard at a riverside beach near Dixon, Illinois, future 40th U.S. president Ronald Reagan rescued 77 people from drowning.

wzitalokiehi

So recently I have been trying to analyze myself quite ferociously.

I tried isolating Angeline (which is supposed to be me by name) and myself (my soul I suppose) just like I once tried isolating Ara h 1 allergen from the peanut proteins.

In a lot of ways rejecting myself seems very natural. I supposed I have so much fear of rejection that I rejected myself before anyone else could reject me first.

For example, it was easy for me to reject nice comments from other people. I always have difficulty believing the good things people said about me. Not to say I totally disagreed but I just knew I wasn't good enough to receive them yet.

For example, I knew I could be good in art. I felt rather strongly about artistic things and I knew intrinsically I was more inclined towards arts BUT I stubbornly chose to pursue Science until I got a Masters.

For example, I knew I could be a good leader if I wanted to BUT I was so afraid to fail, that I just rejected the whole possibility of being one. That went for being a teacher too.

For example, I knew I was supposed to be quite intelligent BUT I rather act silly because it was so easy to come up with silly ideas than intelligent ones. I rejected my intellects.

And if I ever fail as a human being, I could easily be a cat, because I was kinda known as one already. I denied my humanity.

I am also amazed at how I can decide my emotions. If someone asked me how I feel, I realized I couldn't tell the person on the spot. I had to justify my emotions and really analyze if I was truly feeling what I felt, or I was even supposed to feel that way. That constantly put me in denial because most of the time I couldn't decide if I should and so, I rejected my feelings as well. And I promise you, I have driven people (including myself) nuts with that.

My golly, have I been really hard on myself. But then, this is probably the first time I have described myself that well.

really?

Anna Kristine Aanderaa

She is one of the most talented, productive, disciplined, encouraging, trustworthy, thoughtful and BEAUTIFUL persons that I love on this base.

Now she is on her way back to Norway.

I miss her.

Goodbye sucks.

Lawrence

He is just an ex uni mate.

After he left Nebraska for Florida in 2002, I never thought I would see him again, not to say in Hong Kong.

We both agreed we looked healthier now but still wishing we were as thin as we were in 2002.

It was the first time I saw Festival Walk in Kowloon Tong. I told him, I have no desires for the materials the mall offers. I have no complicated needs. He said, "You are very Buddhist". Hilarious.

It was the first time he saw Chungking Mansion in TST. I cant believe I would be the one that took this local born and bred there.

Chern Chuan

Yesterday at the KCR, I thought I saw Chern Chuan. I knew there was no way it could be him but the guy's resemblance of him jittled me. I think I stared at him for a long time. About a week ago, while I was on the train back from OR, I thought of Chern Chuan and how much he let me be who I was when we were together. Chern Chuan was my first love and I was his. I have so much memories that still put smiles on my face......

I remember sabotaging his shoe laces and then he almost fell.
I remember him crying the first time I told him I would love him unconditionally
I remember him climbing a tree and pretended to be a monkey.
I remember him asking me if I would ever become a missionary.
I remember on our first Valentine's Day, I gave him a jar of Skippy peanut butter as a present.
I remember the only time we had a little disagreement, he got me a Hercules soundtrack and made up to me.
I remember him teaching me how to make fried green beans.
I remember all the times he cooked for me and cleaned up because I was too busy.
I remember all the times he tried to appease me when I got mad at something.
I remember him bringing me Burger King sack dinner before I took off to attend IVCF's Fall Conference.
I remember him walking me home, which was a mile away from his dorm even though there was a foot of snow out there, and then he walked back alone.
I remember him trying for a week to get his driver's licence just so that he could fulfill his promise to bring me to the Henry Doorly Zoo.
I remember him doing all he could just so I would stay in the relationship.

And I remember his tears when I told him I loved another.
But then I remember he forgave me and let me go.

Chern Chuan, I wonder what I will say to you if I ever see you again. Are you still in Omaha? Settled down with some cute girl? Most importantly, have you made a decision about God?

I realized how much I have changed (or rather became more like the girl i used to be) since I returned to Asia. You entered my mind only because I remembered the time and the girl I was when we were together. I tried to change that girl and got all confused. Now, I realized this is so ME and I am accepting it happily.

But then, will I ever see you again?

It really doesnt matter.

Post-OR Ramblings 4

my first batch dts students graduated this warm morning in a lovely little feast.

at the end of the party, craig had an announcement that we should take a look at his wife's tummy area. the little one is about 5 weeks old inside. loud shrieks, cheers and applauses in the air!

i went out to yuen long the first time since i got back from OR. bought myself a new sim card and thus restored my mobility.

got a call from catherine the joyful noise maker. i wish she is here NOW.

Post-OR Ramblings 3

if zoe didnt call this morning, i would not have waken up early enough to wash my very expired hair. i was in the middle of a dream where i am busy shopping for perfume. it was great to hear her lovely voice. i bragged to her about my recently acquainted chinese phrases but alas, not only she wasnt impressed, she didnt even know what i was talking about. i just laughed. it was hard to get upset with her because i was the one trying to be funny. i wasnt ready to get out of bed.

apparently, she is now a permanent resident of usa. go girl!!!

spent the whole afternoon making over my blog. i dont necessarily like this template better than the last one but i m getting bored of the greens. what i didnt know was retemplating removes all my links. it took me a while to learn how to insert them back into different templates. but i did it!!!

ive got lots of refund from OR fees... almost double the amount of last year's. i have to set aside 395 for new hong kong id card (my wallet got stolen during OR with all my money, ids, sim and atm card). a bit bummed over the inconveniences...but the bright side is i get to retake picture for the id because the last one i took was soooooo ugly.

i m bored. not that i have nothing to do but the things that are for me to do are ones that i m not interested to do NOW.

the humidity cant get any higher.

i realize i am complaining more on the dashboard than in real life.

Post-OR Ramblings 2

It was Fifi's (err Tryfina's) 21st birthday yesterday. We couldnt go out because some of the students including Fifi had to prepare for worship for the report back. Tonight we finally went out all of us except for Niko and Caryl, to Kam Tin to have lassis and naans. Yums.

Report back was long but great. As usual, we were not able to tell all we wanted to say because it would take longer time than all of us could bear. I am glad it was over.

Had a good reunion with Catherine and Budi on MSN. I am satisfied.

Yawn.

Post-OR Ramblings

i havent stopped smiling since i got back. some people even said i looked different from the way it was during OR. cuter they said. i can live till my old age with that.

life here is not as good as it was during the OR. the last two months even though living out of a backpack, i got to stay in rooms of bigger sizes, not having to climb to go to bed, 24 hr a/c with tv and tons of favorite dramas vs only having a/c from 10p - 6a and no tv to watch, not needing to clean bathroom vs having to clean it once every week, having other people to clean up after each meal and NO STAFF MEETINGS.

caryl and i were so good at finding luxury hotels.

evangelism was fun. there was this strong annointing that finally it became really natural for me. i would like to get even better. i know the Big Dude was pleased!

leadership was ok. not easy, not really difficult, and not really natural for me as well. it was a rare, occasional, and an only-happened-whenever-necessary phenomenon...like the eclipse. but i will do it again. evangelism was too fun to be hindered by that.

other than that, sometimes i couldnt help feeling lonely. there were times i strongly felt being part of the people out there more than part of the team especially when i started to feel and think in the language of the people. but then i was one with team in terms of our goals and spirituality. they were of two different worlds that were trying to collide. and collision was happening inside me concurrent to my realization of how big the difference was. actually it never stopped. it started when i came back to asia and i felt it stronger and more when i wasnt on the base. it is just one of the many analyses that i havent had a complete closure or no closure at all.

i must say i am one of the most interesting characters around. it is STILL a debate whether i m more asian or western; i am so kiddish as if i am trapped in my childhood even though i m about to hit my 30s; i am supposed to be quite intelligent but i like acting silly just as i m supposed to be a human but acting a lot like a cat.

no wonder most people think i m complex. rachel just said i m a walking paradox.

but then again, it was nothing compared to what jesus had felt. when he was on the planet, he was both man and god. that must have been really hard.

i will have to stop here. i have some testimonies to prepare for tomorrow's report back. i usually dont like to procrastinate.