Be near O God of us, your nearness is to us our good. -a song by Shane Barnard written based on Psalm 73:28, which has now become a resounding prayer in my heart....
I have been "freaking out" internally with the changes that are taking place in my life right now. Even my relationship with my God is changing, you know. There is this season that I relate to him as a little child to her father. I love, think, act, speak, eat and play just like a child because that's how I feel my God sees me. It is a place of comfort and safety.
After being espoused to Kah Kheng, God begins to reveal to me that there's another dimension of a relationship with him, of which I have neglected, of which a lot deeper and richer than a Father to a child - the relationship between the Lover and the Beloved. Now, that is awkward for me. I am comfortable being a Child, but not quite a Beloved. Marriage has to be the boldest thing I will ever do. When people asked me "when will you ever get hitched?', in all sanity, I had always replied "when I grow up" and so the growing up time is now. It is amazing how God has led me in such a way, until I am at this place, and of course he is still preparing me and taking me further and deeper into himself.
4 days with Kah Kheng was like 4 days with God. I saw the reflection of my loving God in my fiance. He just couldnt stop blessing me with affections and gifts and attention to an extend that I felt stressed and guilty receiving this overload of love expressions simple because there was no way I could recipocrate that love. God said, that's how I lavished my love on my people, and do you think they could ever recipocrate my love for them?
But then, this is exactly the purpose of my life. I am living simply to recipocrate my God's love for me. Eternity is designed for that.
God's love everlasts.